Fun times

He hated leaving parties.

Not because he liked them so much. Although he did. But even if he was having a miserable time at some unplanned gig at some random person's house which had a table offering only soggy crisps and just three beverages of unexciting potency, he still hated leaving parties.

Because he always wondered if they were only waiting for him to leave so that they could start talking about him. No...gossiping. No no...bitching. Backbiting. Mocking. Sneering.

It didn't matter where the party was, or how many people he happened to know there. The moment it became more than close friends having dinner, and turned into a bunch of people hanging out and bringing other unknown folk, he couldn't help but feel that the minute he waved his last casual-cool goodbye and stepped outside, the laughter and the ohmygawwds and the headshaking would begin.

And so he began staying later and later. It became a battle of patience and nerves - him against those who he felt would be the first to initiate the giggles. He learnt to eat a little before the party, so that he wouldn't be forced to get out just because the last straggly carrot stick had been devoured. He began to read up on things - on art and sport and current affairs and architecture and music and books - because when it was just you and three others, it was hard to hide behind a pretty smile and endless discussions about who would win in a fight between Batman and Bruce Lee. He learnt to ignore the pointed yawns of his hosts, or the repeated comments about what a long day they had had (what did they mean by that anyway - it wasn't as if they lived in Narnia where time ran differently) - as long as there was one other guest, he refused to leave.

Inevitably, people realised this and began leaving early - or rather, earlier than they would have if he hadn't been at the party. It was either that or end up being stuck in a conversation about whether Dali's vision was weirder than Escher's and Gaudi's combined.

He realised this, but he didn't care. He wouldn't give them the chance to make fun of him behind his back. He would not be broken.

And then, one night, he wondered if they had begun to leave early only to meet elsewhere and make fun of him.


km said...

Excellent post. Except for this one bit:

who would win in a fight between Batman and Bruce Lee.

*Tears streaming down my cheeks*

*Run out of the room shouting: "WE WOULD ALL LOSE!!!".*

Serious response:

Does Bruce Lee have a sidekick?

I rest my case.


Bruce and Bruce are the best of friends. They would NEVER spar; not for fun, not for proving a point and not even if Wonder Woman and Batgirl egged them on, say, after a few vodkas.

Batman may have the strength and his gadgets but Bruce Lee has the Way of The Dragon.

//This has been discussed on the Internet before. Thank God.

km said...

Oh, and Green Lantern fans better not enter this debate.

NightWatchmen said...

It was either that or end up being stuck in a conversation about whether Dali's vision was weirder than Escher's and Gaudi's combined.

Aah but of course we do remember one such case where we were subjected to an ingenious analysis of this movie, as to whether the gorgeous blonde Mme Dolly Bell is a metaphor for communism or not, which was our cue to get the hell out of there.

P.S : Do download the Adriano Celentano sound track, simply awesome though cannot figure out a word!!!

??! said...

But but but...sparring is what friends do. To keep fit, try out new techniques, learn a new trick, etc.

And let me put it this way, Bruce Lee doesn't need a side-kick. How can you beat a man who has mastered the Art of Fighting Without Fighting?

Also, GL - meh. Willpower-schmilpower.

Poor you. One of those parties huh?

And thanks for the tip!

FĂ«anor said...

You guys go to parties? What are those, then?

Shyam said...

Why would Batman fight Bruce Lee??? You just dont GET Batman, do you?

km said...

Shyam: Exactly.

I was just shocked by ??!'s scenario.

//I can totally see Plastic-man challenging Bruce Lee to a fight.

dipali said...


DewdropDream said...

Excellent post!

HP said...

haha !! brilliant !

Roy said...

brilliant story!

collapsedlight said...

"Does Bruce Lee have a 'sidekick'?" Well...

Mudra said...

Vurry vurry nice...!