And you look back, and look around now, and you wonder.
And you doubt.
And you laugh. off.
And you cringe.
And you rationalise.
And you cannot believe it was you who was that, then.
And you cannot accept that it will still be you, soon, doing the same things in years to come.
And you deny.
And you fight.
And you reinvent.
And you never accept that this is you.
And that this will always be you.
And you're stuck.
And that if you just realised that, you would be free.
Labels: Some life
(While this could be true, it could also not be)
When I was seven (or maybe eight), I was going through all the colour-coded Blyton short stories books. One of those carried this story about a mean woman who kept thumping and banging all her furniture and belongings, and how they (the table, the teapot, the pots, etc) got fed up and began playing tricks on her till she realised what was happening and started treating them better.
The story simultaneously made me thankful that there was at least one other person in the world who believed that the objects around us were alive and secretly communicating with each other, and made me even more paranoid for the same reason.
So if you catch me apologising after slamming a door, you know why.
Labels: Friday Fun
"Oh. Well, let's see....Little babies float about on purple bricks, and then giant frisbees come in and announce that they are breaking the rules and will be put away in a room with some no-handled mugs, only they're interrupted by a bottle of ginger beer that jumps up and down and up down and up and down and sprays froth all over them so that the babies escape, and then the frisbees send some wild sunflowers after them that keep reflecting sunlight into the path of the babies so that it's too shiny to see where they're going, and then they come to a river of liquid emerald and the bricks refuse to go on because everybody knows that purple and green don't match, so the babies hop off and take out their lollipops and lick them till they're really sticky and then throw them at the sunflowers to tangle them up, and then -"
"No. I meant, tell us about your career dreams."
Labels: Imagined un-verse
It's not you,
The me you turned the me
who wanted to be with you
The me that is more what you
imagined me to be,
than the me that could have been.
The me I stare at,
as you would at an old friend
at the embarassment they have become.
It's not you,
And I want me back.
Labels: Imagined verse
The crumbs left behind in the butter after toast has been made.
The swirls of changing colour as cream is mixed into a tomato-based sauce.
The just-brown of perfectly grilled cheese.
The way dal bubbles out of the little hole in the middle of the rice mound.
The way an orange balances when you pierce it with your thumb.
The little film that forms on the top of a properly brewed cup of chai.
The inexhaustible soakability of a tiny crust of bread in mopping up gravy.
The way the flesh pops out when you squeeze a grape just right.
The way drowned biscuits end up as abstract art.
The way a dollop of butter transforms soup.
....the little magics of food.