The frequency of blog posts are inversely proportional to the occurrence of having a life.
He waited patiently for them to ask him what he knew they would ask. In cases like this, the question - simple though it was - took a while to wade past the torrent of nervous excitement and exhilaration, before finally being blurted out in burst of devil-may-care bravado.
And so it was, that several long minutes after stumbling their way through a litany of their past and their beliefs and their hopes, the braver of the two youngsters asked him if he would marry them.
He smiled slowly, and then said, "But I can't do that. My order demands that I remain celibate".
And as he saw their smiles falter in confused bewilderment, he began to chuckle loudly, as he always did. It was such a funny joke.
Labels: Imagined un-verse
I can't quite remember the first time I ever noticed that something I had taken for granted all along, was perhaps not the only way that thing had to be. But I'm certain it affected me then as all such moments affect me today - with a tide of surreality washing over me, making me wander around for hours later looking at everything as if I was noticing them clearly for the first time, and asking myself how...and why...I'd been ignoring the obviousness of it all.
I increasingly look for those moments, searching for things around and within me that I've simply accepted because that's how they were when I found them, but which - on a little probing - prove to be just one of various possible options, or (even better) not the truth at all. It's quite an amazing feeling when you get there (and I'm sure most of you will have felt it), of almost not being here fully, and of feeling that if you just tried a little harder, then you would be able to understand the meaning of it all.
And these moments do not necessarily come from ponderings over profound matters, or pivotal and life-changing events. Sometimes, they can occur due to the most trivial and absurd matters.
For instance, socks.
During the donning of one such item before a brief sally into the chill night, the uncontrolled part of the brain suddenly noticed that in effect, they were gloves for the feet, weren't they? But if so (and this was the surreal-inducing bit) why did they have one all-encompassing cover, rather than individual slots for each toe?
That thought kept me rooted to my position for about five whole minutes.
I could not believe I had never questioned this before, when it made so much more sense (because you would be able to wiggle your toes, and they would be warmer because they were each snuggly fitted rather than having air-space between them, and surely you would get a better grip with your feet if you could spread your toes (as you do with bare feet)). I didn't even know if somebody else had thought of this before and manufactured them, or if they had been a brief fad and then failed. Of course, they do exist, and I obviously missed the whole fad, because I really can't remember having ever seen anybody wearing one of these, or noticing them being sold on the racks. And yes, I guess they're not that common because it costs the manufacturer more, and the only argument I can think of against them is that they don't help your feet fit into shoes as well as the regular socks do....
...but what really shook me was that I'd never thought of it, had never heard anyone mention it, or even read any reference to the same. It was one of those things. Even though there is another way - which may be better.
And these were just socks! What else had I been missing?
I gotta tell you, for a few moments there, reality felt mighty thin.
Labels: A Manual of Life
If film-titles were written by bored foodies, we'd have...
and, of course,
Bun, tea, or bubbly?
What is it? A particularly virulent form of Realitus Disconnectus, wherein the sufferer firmly believes that their blog exists in a self-contained universe, and is not linked to their real lives. Gets its name by the phrase uttered by Dr. Frida Johnston, who on first diagnosing this disorder, noted, "These frikkin' (sic) bloggers think they live in a frikkin' bubble!".
Likely to affect: Bloggers whose identities are known publicly, or at least, to some other bloggers. Diaryists are particularly vulnerable.
Symptoms: Such bloggers (perhaps unconsciously) continue to post about personal details as well as opinions on people and events in their lives, while simultaneously repressing the knowledge that such posts are being read by the very people being referred to.
Causes: The God-complex; inability (or choice) not to think things through.
Effects: The onset of this syndrome often results in unpleasant offline showdowns, notably by people reacting to less-than-kind words being written about them. Afflicted bloggers are also likely to find themselves at a handicap socially, as not only can their behaviour and reactions be predicted reasonably accurately, but any attempt at dissemination or evasive courtesy is seen through, due to public knowledge of their real desires and opinions.
Treatment: A quick Reality-check is usually enough to make the blogger aware of the problem. More troublesome cases may be helped by judicious application of Bootinass.
* Apparently, we're not done with the meta-blogging.
Labels: Blogging 101
"(We're all miracles. Know why? Because) as humans, every day we go about our business, and all that time we know... we all know ... that the things we love, the people we love, at any time can all be taken away. We live knowing that and we keep going anyway."
- Little Children
Labels: Brilliant others