22.1.08

Guide to Blogging - Personalitypes

The Diarist*
n., Dominant member of sub-species H.bloggerus, found populating vast tracts of the blog-scape, and noted for an unusually high ratio of young females.

Characteristics:
Marked for its continuous whine, through which it broadcasts (in excessive and exhaustive detail) descriptions of the territory it occupies, and its activities within the same. Famous for its strutting walk, and tendency to parade its colours regularly. Prone to prolonged bouts of omphaloskepsis.

Behavioural patterns:
The creature tends to be highly social in nature, and on several occasions has been spotted in large gatherings. These groupings are characterized by an initial mass mutual-grooming phase, with much time spent in preening up, and being preened up by. These meetings invariably tend to break up abruptly, as each individual begins to demand greater attention, eventually resulting in minor skirmishes where their (considerably-sharp) claws are brought into play. Following these confrontations, the individuals distance themselves from each other, returning to their yowling - which this time also mentions the fight, how it was all because of the jealousy of petty inferiors, and how they will rise above it all because they're so wonderful, dontchaknow.

It must be noted, however, that the individuals have been seen at similar gatherings soon after previous ones, and are also noticed associating with prior opponents. It is still unclear if this simply demonstrates the social nature of this sub-species, or is a pointer to short-term memory and/or an underlying need for being attended to.

Famous varieties:
The Maternal-Obsessives, the Unrequited Lover, the Corporate Slave, the World-Weary Youth, the New-Age Partygirl, and the Petty No-Lifers.


* Oh, don't get all touchy about it.

20 comments:

scout said...

please don't tell me this is the ode to me. i mean, it would make sense. and me demanding an ode in the first place would completely fit the description, but please tell me this isn't it?

??! said...

I was almost certain you would think this. Sorry for not warning you in advance.

No re, this isn't it. Would I be so mean?

Space Bar said...

dem. i want to be world weary youth. where's my dorian grey portrait?

(and you, me girl, have just displayed your claws. i like!)

One Trick Pony said...

um, i always learnt better when people provided examples as well.

kyon tere mein daring nahin hain?

??! said...

sb:
heheh. One is blossoming.

OTP:
oye! itna likhne ki daring toh ki na? example likha kar marwaigi kya?

km said...

The Maternal-Obsessives, the Unrequited Lover, the Corporate Slave, the World-Weary Youth, the New-Age Partygirl, and the Petty No-Lifers.

You forgot the Eternal Clown, the Untiring Show-off and the Aging Hipster. I even know a blogger on your blogroll who fits all those 3 types. *nudge nudge wink wink*

??! said...

To be a Diarist, you have to only post about your life. No links to interesting stories or videos allowed. And that makes that person not a pure Diarist.

One Trick Pony said...

but how will i know which one I am if you don't tell me! I say "petty no-lifer".

also, wots a new age party girl? someone into crystals and cristal?

??! said...

that one is into New-Age parties. heh.

you, dear, are in the Witty Episoders category.

Tabula Rasa said...

is maternal-obsessive being defined differently from how we used to know it? bec if not, i'd like to see some links, please.

km said...

TR: you can google for Oedipus yourself...

And a New-Age Party? Yoga and Yogurt for all?

Tabula Rasa said...

sure i can google, but is that the right keyword to lead me to the happening blogs?

Space Bar said...

Yo, gurt! here we go again!

Pri said...

nonsense person!! making me google strange words at unearthly hours.

Space Bar said...

ooh! ooh! i have a lovely post about yoga i need to do! thanks km!

The Bride said...

I'm sure practically everybody reading this is going 'that's me'. But if tis me, then I don't agree that diarists are social. In fact, anyway don't agree - by virtue of the fact to be chronicle your life you must have a life that lacks something that will be made up in the chronicle. Generally that someone is 'a life'. Ok i'm going to shut up now. It is, after all, your definition and I'm only bored at work.

??! said...

TR:
ai (eh eh, checkout the pun)! Is got twisted around. Should've termed them Baby-Describers.

SB:
No no no! Am still recovering from that last round.

Pri:
Heh.

The Bride:
Hush. It is only my nasty-week. Not to be taking seriously.

Espèra said...

I'm assuming that there are other personalitypes too?
From what I've observed though, people with characteristics that you've described are generally not clever enough to blog. Although when they DO, it's full of life's tiny details. *Yawn*

But for the most part, they suck at blogging.

IdeaSmith said...

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit...someone actually noticed...

??! said...

IdeaS:
oh we notice. heh.