20.5.09

Intense Paranoia - Identification Method #91

For best results, squeeze from the bottom and flatten as you go upwards....

ya right. just so you can make more money eh? what what? of course! i know physics okay, and i know you know i will have more control if i started near the top because then i would end up squeezing out less paste than if i tried to manipulate that whole flolloping tube from the bottom, and you dont want me to do that because then i would be using one tube for longer and you wouldnt like that would you, ohyes-mr.investor-look-our-sales-grew-sixgazillionpercent-this-quarter. you want me to use more, even though we both know it doesnt help and i would still have to go to that damn toothdriller every six months only to be poked into and twisted around and sighed over. what happened to your cleanerwhiterstronger formula there huh? why do these black holes keep springing up and sucking up my nice gnashers eh? why does it not matter how much i use - and yes i tried squeezing from the bottom you sanctimonious cow you...............oh. ohhhhh. you bastard. you wanted me to use more because the more i use the more foamy it gets and while i'm going oooh-so-tingly all thats happening is that it's actually attacking all the things that keeps my jaw strong. you know this, and those quacks i go to know this, and that is why they tell me to brush more, because you cooked up this scheme together, and all you capitalist pigs care about is your big bonuses and yeh-baby-first-class-travel on company holidays.

.....you utter utter bastards.

7 comments:

km said...

Yeah, man, stick it to the man!

//and what was wrong with chewing neem twigs?

NightWatchmen said...

I hope to god your name is not Raju!!!!! Otherwise much fun will be realised..........

??! said...

KM:
This, of course, is not me. One is not paranoid. No really.

NW:
Raju ke daant? Oh wow that's total nostalgia.

Shyam said...

Oh, that's good, that's very WELL done! When do you expect the guys in white coats to arrive? :)

dipali said...

Awesome!!!

??! said...

Shyam:
One does not need white-coated men. One has said one is not paranoid. And besides, even if they did come, one would simply flap one's wings and fly away.

Dipali:
Merci.

The Bride said...

That's why I never brush at night. So there!