16.12.09

Manual of Life - Alternative Definitions

Helplessness
n., Trying and utterly failing to soothe an old, blind, almost-deaf dog who spends the last few hours of his life yipping away because of you-dont-know-what (before he finally decides to chuck it all - softly, unnoticed - and head for that roomful of unguarded slippers* he dreams about).


See also:

Ruined weekend

15 comments:

??! said...

Aren't I bloody cheerful this week. I blame all the Christmas ads.

km said...

Simply replace "dog" with "cat" (or "alligator") and watch this post magically turn HOWLARIOUS.

Space Bar said...

tchah. what an end to the year, huh?

blewgenes said...

@km : you zoosadist !!

next you will be advocating cat crush movies as an antidote to the lifesucking Christmas songs everywhere

brinda said...

Damn! Even Scrooge wouldn't have wanted to start Christmas on this note. That said, you might consider muttering 'bah humbug' instead of spreading the cheer like this...

Shyam said...

what is christmas for except to spread good cheer... but the Great Slipper Stack in the Sky is always good for dogs.

km said...

blewgenes: Cats are an alien life form. It's ok to (gently) hurt them or humiliate them.

Space Bar said...

km: *gasp* so much nasty.

km said...

SB: Sheesh, the SPCA Internet Branch!

Space Bar said...

km: this is what you want to exterminate?

how could you?

brinda said...

awwwwww.... km, you don't want to exterminate ickle tickle kittens, do you? (now, replace that with bawling brats on a plane... that's another conversation altogether)

km said...

SB/Brinda: All right, it's a deal - I'll tickle cats till they have tears in their eyes but I will hurt them no more.

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx"

??! said...

KM/Space:
You should have a blog war going - one puts up posts of lovely kittens, one puts up posts of nasty ones. We can all keep score.

Brin:
Please. No talk of babies on flights. One is trying hard to imagine they won't happen soon.

blackmamba said...

??!: would this count as lovely or nasty?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1qHVVbYG8Y

Anonymous said...

Kill all cats. And handbag dogs, they have no self-respect.