Manual of Life - World Improvement Idea #23

The creation and implementation of a genetic modification process, through which all post-puberty males experience a faux-period at least once a year.

Since the logistics and biology of actual menstruation would probably prove too complicated, this would mean males experiencing (and being reminded of) the accompanying physical pain, mood alterations, and general stress that women go through every month, for an average of 40 years.

Assuming men were allowed to choose how many months they could experience this in a year (X), the level of severity experienced by men at each such event (P) would be:
P = (Total amount of pain experienced by a women in a year)/X

the level of pain at each faux-period would be inversely proportional to the regularity of said period, and an average man would experience the same amount of pain as an average women in a year.

Gay men could be excepted from having to undergo this every year, but would still have to experience it at least once in their lifetime.


NightWatchmen said...

Err when you mean post-puberty, you mean males who have attained puberty I presume.

But oh well anyway what was the inspiration behind this post if we may so ask ?

km said...

Can't wait for TV commercials involving beer, staple guns, fishing rods and tampons!

//Faux-Flow would be a good brand name for a male tampon.

Tabula Rasa said...

seen margaret cho's riff on this?

unpredictable said...

Wow. Oh here's another computation...

X <2% where X = (number of post puberty males who think the way you've articulated/ all post puberty males in the world)

To be fair, I wouldn't wish menstrual suffering on the nice men I knew. This would just be my Brahmastra --> man acting idiotic and not showing empathy = poof! Mystic sends a period his way :D

Falstaff said...

Hmmm...so I take it X is measured in days and is therefore bounded at 365 / 366 (in a leap year)?

I figure if you spread it out enough it won't be an experience, just a personality trait.

??! said...


Because. The world would be a better place if men just understood what women actually went through, during a period.

Not to mention Jockey's new range of extra-absorbent briefs "to help you avoid embarassing moments".

No, but will hunt down now.

Hmm...there's a thought - the Menstr-astra! You could go around smiting alpha males all day with that.

No no, X equals number of times a year. Post updated with explanation.

Sam said...

well.. i dont' think experiencing it first hand is necessary.. just trying to deal with a woman during the days can be a learning experience.. at least I found it to be so!!!